How to Successfully Cope with a Chronic Illness

(Originally published on Yahoo! Voices on July 5, 2008)

Having a chronic illness of any sort is one of the most challenging situations to cope with. Especially is this so if one is young or inclined to be active. So how can a person successfully cope with a chronic illness?

First of all, *knowledge is power*. Educate yourself about your illness. Ask your team of doctors specific questions (you'll find they appreciate this and you will receive better care as a result). Ask them for any and all material they have that discusses your illness. Go to your local library and scour its shelves. You may find it helpful to talk with others with the same illness. Much information can be found on the internet. However, a word of caution is called for when searching on the internet: make sure the information is from a credible source. The more you know about your health issue, the more involved in managing it you can become. You will know what to expect and will be better equipped to handle it. Knowledge also does much to keep your viewpoint positive.

That is the second step: *try to be positive*. It is okay to grieve the loss of your health. It may even be healthy to do so. However, it is imperative not to allow yourself to be swallowed up by longing for the "good ol' days." Too much of such nostalgia could easily develope into self-pity and self-pity can actually exert a most negative impact on your long-term physical health. A positive attitude is vital to successfully living with a chronic health problem. One thing that will help you to maintain a positive attitude is to keep a balanced view of the medical world. Doctors know a great deal and following their advice is usually advisable. But they don't know everything. If the diagnosis is glum, so what? You still have a chance, however small, to beat the odds- and people sometimes do. But you won't beat those odds if you don't try. Also, make sure your living conditions are clean and cheerful. This can do much to improve the spirit. Research shows that access to a window makes a great difference in a patient's well being. If you can go outside, do so as often as possible. Have friends over often and go to them if you can. And yes, it is perfectly okay to laugh at an illness and at oneself. In fact, a ready sense of humor is your best ally. All of this can make all the difference in your viewpoint.

Thirdly, *set realistic goals*. It is important to "listen" to your body. Particularly is this so if you are going through the initial adjustments after a recent diagnosis. It is important to feel out your limits carefully, perhaps with the help of a caring family member, friend, and your team of doctors. It is also equally important to continue to adjust as limits change over time. Once you know your limits, stay within them. You will accomplish nothing by working against them. Instead, work through or around them. Some physical activity is necessary to promote healing, stabilization, and mental well being. Realistic goals that work within, around, and through your limits can accomplish much good in this regard. You may well be pleasantly surprised by the variety and complexity of activities you can perform with patience, a little time, and a keen awareness of what your body is "telling" you. Your friends and family may be surprised, too!

Fourth, *learn to deal with the reactions of others*. Let's face it: people who do not yet have chronic illnesses of their own or a family member with a chronic illness are not always going to exhibit sensitivity. Not that they are callous to your situation- not at all! It is simply that, being still blessed with good health, they cannot fully understand what it feels like not to have it. So when ones make a thoughtless remark or otherwise do something inconsiderate, how can you handle it? It may be possible in most circumstances to ignore the comment. After all, they more than likely did not mean it as it sounded. They probably didn't realize the hurt or offense it could cause. In some cases, you could anticipate an awkward moment and head it off by bringing it up. "Would you like to know why I'm in a wheelchair?" or "I think it's only fair to warn you: sometimes I can't control my arms and legs so I might kick you if you stand there." Laugh it off with them. Do everything you can to put them at ease with a smile and your sense of humor (remember that from before?). Personally, I keep the viewpoint that I want such ones to remain innocent of what it's really like to be in my shoes as long as possible - I can enjoy that innocence as something refreshing, even if ignorance on their part is sometimes painful to me. I feel joy for them precisely because they don't understand. Think how beautiful such an existence is! By cultivating a positive point of view regarding people's reactions and reacting positively to them, before you know it you may find that some people even forget that you have a chronic illness!

Lastly, *don't quit!* By focusing on others instead of yourself, you will cope with a chronic illness successfully. You could volunteer (within your limits) in your community. Or you could help others in smaller ways. Share a happy story with someone and a smile with another. Play a game with a child, perhaps "I Spy" or "Guess the Object". Invite a friend or two over at a time for coffee and a sandwich - hospitality need not be complicated or beyond your abilities. Think simple and pleasant. As someone with a chronic illness, you now have a most special gift to share that others may not have: empathy.

By remembering these five things, you can successfully live with a chronic illness!